On Deposits
One of my old blog posts migrated here to my new website: updated and shamefully copy edited.
Sometimes, the trickiest part of the booking process is asking, ‘Can I please get a deposit for that booking?’ I treat it as a litmus test for legitimate clients, but you can lose some unintentionally due to the pervasive stereotypes around sex workers and trustworthiness; new clients or those who have had bad experiences are the most likely to drop off. Not every worker asks for a deposit or has the ability to, and last minute bookings often don’t incur one if an instant option isn’t available, but with money now so firmly in the electronic realm it's becoming common across all demographics of sex work.
Here's the thing, darling nervous clients. When you hire a lawyer, you pay them a retainer. When you’re granted a loan, you pay a deposit. There are many professions which will require a down payment of money before dispensing the service to ensure that you can pay, and that you will attend the sessions that you have promised to or follow through on a sale. When you hand wave the idea of paying a sex worker a deposit, you are saying that you don't respect us or our profession in the same way as you would a hairdresser, architect, tattoo artist or dog groomer — and I think you'll find our industry is far older than any bank or law firm. We take deposits for the same reasons; when you don't turn up with the full payment, we lose income that we were counting on and other suitors miss out on an opportunity to meet us. Not everyone can afford for this to happen to them; the most vulnerable among us are the least likely to require deposits, and not honouring your commitment could mean quite literally taking food from their table. Normalising it across the industry empowers everyone to feel brave enough to ask and to feel like they have the choice to request one or not.
Committing to a deposit isn’t a hard thing to do, but many time wasting individuals will make out like they’re being asked to hike through the Himalayas and fetch back ancient knowledge from a secret temple. Deposits are payable at the time of booking, and not in four days’ time; a friend of mine is quite well known for pointing out that Qantas only holds your seats for ten minutes without payment, but we give you an entire day. Why waste time arguing over a deposit when it will take you just as long to simply pay one using these (Australian) methods?
Beem It — The gold standard in Australia for instant payment with an anonymous handle. This app was created by the big four banks, and it’s secure and trustworthy. You do need a debit card and some ID to set it up, but most Australian escorts use it and it’s also extremely useful for quickly splitting the cheque with friends. Here’s their website.
Cardless cash — If you bank with select vendors, you can dispatch cardless cash when someone asks for it — right from the app! Follow the prompts, send your prospective lover the code that comes up, and then they have 30 minutes to get the cash from the ATM. You don't even have to leave your seat, and the bank will notify you once the funds have been collected.
Direct deposit — If your bank has enabled Osko Pay, this will be immediate (except for CommBank, who insist on taking 24 hours for all new accounts). If not, some advance planning will be necessary but only a day or two. This can be done from your phone app, laptop, or even over the phone to your branch.
Cash to a Smart ATM — This one requires a smidge of effort on your part, and can only be used if your chosen companion is with a bank that has Smart ATMs. These are ATMs that can receive cash deposits; it’s anonymous and instant, but does come under the ‘effort’ umbrella as you do have to travel to physically deposit bank notes.
Gift card — Some of us are happy to take gift cards as deposits. Please make sure you’re buying something they actually need, rather than assuming any old gift card will be welcome. I personally love Uber gift cards as they always come in handy, but any unsolicited gift cards will be assumed to be generous presents rather than deposits, as this isn’t my usual method. Plan accordingly.
What about the risk of someone absconding with the money?
It is your responsibility as a consumer to check that the business you are hiring is legitimate. For our industry, this means looking for multiple advertisements and advertising history, checking that their pictures are verified on websites that offer image verification, checking for social media engagement, looking for reviews from people who have hired the sex worker previously, and perhaps asking for a phone call if it’s on offer. It's important to note that not all workers will have all of these things, especially brand new ones; you can use your best judgement when interacting with them to decide upon whether you would like to take the risk with no prior reputation. The more established the worker, the more they have to lose if they take your money without seeing you and the less likely they are to do so. Clients are the ones who don't have highly public profiles; you can contact us on anonymously and refuse to follow through with no explanation or repercussions. To avoid the possibility of you doing this, a deposit is a precaution we take — a bit of insurance. You may think that you hold more risk in this dynamic, but if you could take a peek at my inbox you would quickly change your mind; ‘insincere’ does not begin to cover the quality of enquiries that the average worker receives.
A deposit is not the full amount owed; it's a nominal percentage. I take 25%, some take more or less — even giving a $10 deposit creates a feeling of investment and obligation towards your commitment. Many deposits are around $50-100 — we're not running away with that kind of money, we won't get far; it's $100. I'm not hopping on any planes and retiring with that cash, and why would I when I am promised the remaining just by doing something I already agreed to do? If a client cancels last minute or doesn’t show up, the deposit goes some way to compensate us for the time lost, and to perhaps encourage the client to follow through with promises. Be sensible with your deposits, and do your research in order to make informed choices about who you’re giving money to.
Absconding with a deposit comes with consequences to our reputation and future income potential. I don't want to be known as the provider who stole from a client — no one would trust me again and regular clients would stop returning my messages. Peers often shun thieves as well, and this industry is very lonely without friends. Deposits can be refunded under certain conditions, and this varies widely between individuals so make sure that you know the policy before committing. In my case, on the rare occasion that I cancel the booking clients receive either a refund or a reschedule. If the client cancels… well, that’s why a deposit was requested in the first place. I don’t refund, but I may allow a reschedule if the cancellation wasn’t too last minute or there were genuine extenuating circumstances.
Please don’t try to lie about why you're cancelling ten minutes before the booking; we were not born yesterday and we will keep the deposit in this case. When the sixth grandma in a month passes away and the ninth car breaks down, we tend to get suspicious. I didn't set out to kill grandmas when I started in the industry, but it appears that this is my burden to bear…
To finish, I'll share a funny story. It isn't mine, I shamelessly stole it from a friend.
Chloe* was touring, and she went to Sydney from the Gold Coast. An enquiry came through from a younger gentleman, and he booked and paid her quoted deposit. When the time came he was nowhere to be seen, so Chloe texted him to ask where he was. ‘Oh, I'll be on my way soon, I've got a bit of time from Ashmore*.’ … Ashmore? That's in the Gold Coast. Chloe is in Sydney. Did he…?
It turns out he did. He didn't read her website, completely missed her telling him the address for the booking was the Rocks*, and because of the timezone difference he was secure in the knowledge that his booking wasn't for another hour. When Chloe corrected him, he had the nerve to tell her that he would just have the deposit count towards a future booking — unfortunately, that is not how deposits work! Chloe informed him she would keep the deposit, and future bookings would incur the same charges; he got quite upset with her. It was an honest mistake, you give back the deposit if you don't complete the service, right? She educated him on the purpose of deposits; he realised that his mistake should not mean that she loses money, and he apologised.
In sum: do your research (read our ads for the love of science), pay the deposit if required, and don't be upset if your last minute cancellation results in forfeiture. If you still don’t wish to pay deposits after reading through this blog, then there are plenty of providers who don’t require them; please choose the person that best fits your needs instead of attempting to cajole someone into changing their policy for your special case. It’s tacky to argue over a simple boundary.
*Names of places and people have been changed.
